Divorce mediation involves you, your spouse and a mediator. The mediator is a neutral third-party who represents nobody and passes no judgment. He or she simply is there to guide the process and assist with communication between you and your spouse.
The mediator will not make judgments and will not take sides. He or she will help you to have meaningful discussions, and if things disintegrate to a point where you are not being constructive, then the mediator will end the session.
Mediation helps to keep the law from dictating what decisions you make. Instead of having to closely follow California law, you can make decisions that work for your family and situation. You are not bound by the same duties as a judge who would make these decisions in court.
Mediation gives you a confidential place to work through the details of separating your lives. You will handle property division and create a parenting plan. You will also discuss child and spousal support, making decisions on payments. You can handle everything you need to create a settlement that the court will approve to finalize your divorce.
It works best when you and your spouse have a willingness to work together. You both must commit to being honest and open-minded. You have to listen to each other and consider the other’s feelings. You must be open to compromise.
When done properly, mediation can speed up the divorce process. It can remove a lot of stress from the situation, and it can reduce your expenses. Overall, mediation is easier on everyone because you facilitate an atmosphere of cooperation instead of one where you are at odds.
What Makes a Good Mediator
You will have to choose your mediator in Roseville, CA. You may seek the advice of your lawyer who will likely know divorce mediators in the area, but the final decision is between you and your spouse. This decision is the first of many, so it helps if you know what makes a good mediator.
Mediators need to have education, background, knowledge and skills in divorce resolution. They must be a neutral party that neither you nor your spouse has any ties to. The mediator should also have some important attributes:
- Ability to stay neutral and see both sides
- Skills to help you work through tough issues
- Knowledge of when discussions are not productive
- Ability to draw out underlying issues
- Skills in relating to both parties in a divorce
Your mediator cannot order you to make decisions. He or she also cannot give you legal advice, which makes it important to secure your own Roseville attorney.